Hello my bloggy friends. It's been a while, I know. It's been a little crazy around here lately and I'm not a fan! This week has been really hard. I went back to work on Monday after a much enjoyed 12 weeks of maternity leave. You should have seen me on that first day away from my girls. I cried in the morning and wouldn't put Scarlett in her car seat. I just kept holding her and kissing her, and of course, crying my eyes out. When I got to work, one of my co workers just gave me a hug as soon as I walked in. I again, started crying instantly. My desk is right by the kitchen so many people pass me all throughout the day. Every time someone would walk by that would ask how the girls are doing. So what did I do? Cried. Then sometimes I'd hear a stupid question. "How are you holding up?" Really? How do you think I'm holding up?! My face is red, mascara is under my eyes, and my eyes are swollen. I'm doing great, thanks so much for asking. Everyone just says that it will get better. And I suppose in some ways it does. I don't cry in the mornings anymore, even though I want to. I'm able to concentrate on getting some work done. But the desire to be with my girls does not lessen. I want nothing more than to be with them and nurture them, play with them, feed them, and cuddle with them. They are everything to me, and to know that someone else is doing these things with them breaks my heart.
I do, however, feel positive about "new beginnings" for us. This may sound crazy, but I just feel like things are going to change for our family soon. I'm not sure what it is, but I know it's coming. I'm praying for strength and for peace and serenity. These are things that I have been needing more of lately. Yeah, I know that peace and serenity are basically the same thing, but I need a double dose of that goodness!
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So I was up at 5a this morning reading your blog. Very good I must say and I'm sure I'll be back for advice on w/ my little one.
ReplyDeleteWhat really got my attention was where you talk about struggling w/ going back to work. I faced the same problem when Amidie was born. I knew I wouldn't be sane staying home full-time, but Kevin would rather starve than put his daughter in day-care. Looking back I know it was the best decision for us that I stay home, but it was an adjustment. So I began looking for ways to have it both ways....my desire to keep up my business skills and be home with my daughter. So I looked and looked. Finally, I talked to an aunt of mine who has a very successful home-based business. I started learning a little more about what she does and realized that it was in-line with what I wanted: time freedom, making money, and helping people. So if you are keeping your options open this might be one you want to look into. The company I'm working for is Reliv International (reliv.com) and my aunt has her own website quinnandcarla.reliv.com If you are interested I can get you in-touch with her. She loves working with young moms and had a wealth of knowledge.
Anyhow I just had to share and hope it helps.
I do need to ask you more about these cloth diapers...we are expecting baby #2 in Sept!!! Take care and enjoy your family. You guys are so cute.
Danielle :)