Hello my bloggy friends. It's been a while, I know. It's been a little crazy around here lately and I'm not a fan! This week has been really hard. I went back to work on Monday after a much enjoyed 12 weeks of maternity leave. You should have seen me on that first day away from my girls. I cried in the morning and wouldn't put Scarlett in her car seat. I just kept holding her and kissing her, and of course, crying my eyes out. When I got to work, one of my co workers just gave me a hug as soon as I walked in. I again, started crying instantly. My desk is right by the kitchen so many people pass me all throughout the day. Every time someone would walk by that would ask how the girls are doing. So what did I do? Cried. Then sometimes I'd hear a stupid question. "How are you holding up?" Really? How do you think I'm holding up?! My face is red, mascara is under my eyes, and my eyes are swollen. I'm doing great, thanks so much for asking. Everyone just says that it will get better. And I suppose in some ways it does. I don't cry in the mornings anymore, even though I want to. I'm able to concentrate on getting some work done. But the desire to be with my girls does not lessen. I want nothing more than to be with them and nurture them, play with them, feed them, and cuddle with them. They are everything to me, and to know that someone else is doing these things with them breaks my heart.
I do, however, feel positive about "new beginnings" for us. This may sound crazy, but I just feel like things are going to change for our family soon. I'm not sure what it is, but I know it's coming. I'm praying for strength and for peace and serenity. These are things that I have been needing more of lately. Yeah, I know that peace and serenity are basically the same thing, but I need a double dose of that goodness!
Posts
