Sad & Frustrated

I haven't been able to write my thoughts down in the past couple of days because frankly I haven't wanted to think about my thoughts.  If that makes any sense.  I have to go back to work in about a week and a half.  I'm dreading it more than you can imagine.  Not because I don't like to work.  I like getting dressed up and going into the office and having that routine.  I like my job as much as the next person.  I like the people I work with.  But more than anything, I love my babies.  I've spent the last ten weeks with them and I can't bear the thought of not being with them all day.  I work for 8 hours a day, 5 days a week.  I have about an hour commute both ways.  That's 10 hours a day that I'm not with them.  They sleep for about 12 hours at night (crazy, I know).  That leaves 2 hours a day that I get to be with them.  Then there's making dinner, getting ready for bed, I litterally have 10 hours during the work week to try to connect with them.  So then there's the weekend.  As everyone knows, weekends are jam packed with errands, cleaning, you name it.  I feel that I should be able to spend more time with my family.  I would love to work just part time, but my job doesn't offer part time hours.  I can't not work because I'm the one with the insurance for the family.  I hope this doesn't come off as just a complaining-fest, because I don't mean for it to be.  I'm just frustrated, sad, and a bit depressed. I've become withdrawn - worrying about my soon-to-come-lack-of-time with my family has caused me to not be as present with them.  So with that acceptance, I'm going to try to make the most of the time I have with them.  Hopefully I can change the way I see this situation and be happier with it.  If anyone can offer some words of wisdom, my ears are open. 

Peace